On Hope

September 13, 2020, Evening

Seattle, WA

Since we can’t go outside, even for a walk or a drive, I’ve been doing a lot of pondering today. And some reading. And a bit of cat napping. Sometimes my pondering places her fingers on my keyboard so I can see and share what is deep in my heart.

So, beloveds, how are you? Really, deep down inside? How is it with your soul? How is it with your heart?

If your social media posts are any indication, some of you are experiencing some deep hurts. That pain is very public and very raw. And I get it, it’s easy to sit in our living rooms and rail against complete strangers or our high school classmates or our neighbors when their opinions are different from ours. Sometimes it helps me, when I feel those knee jerk reactions start to type out their anger on my keyboard…it helps to stop and ask if this is what I’d say if that person were sitting beside me. Sometimes that helps me gain some perspective. Sometimes I just put my device down and go for a walk, even if it’s just to the kitchen.

Maya Angelou once said that when someone shows you who they are, you should believe them. I think she said that before Facebook and Twitter and even the lovely Instagram. Because heaven forbid that this much of our population is actually as mean spirited and unkind and filled with hate as those places on the internet seem to indicate they are.

Some of us are feeling despair. We’re not seeing that as loudly on social media. Unless we count the statistics that tell the stories of those in crisis. Health care workers and teachers and store clerks and firefighters (oh, yes, firefighters) and police officers and social workers and clergy (oh yes, clergy), and parents….you are heroic in the ways you have had to reinvent jobs that were relentless and thankless to begin with. And if you ever feel it’s too much, please call someone.[i] If you have my number, call me. The ranks of clergy lost one of our own today when the despair was too much to bear.

There are so many issues worth our time and energies and our heartache in these days. We are destroying our planet, our siblings, and our relationships because of them. Every person is entitled to their point of view on each of the challenges facing us. And every person also bears a responsibility for the good of the other and for the good of Creation. It is complicated and confounding and if we aren’t careful, this inability to consider the other, to care for the other and Creation, is what will destroy us in the end.

A parishioner asked me today if I have any hope. I do. I have hope that the better parts of who

we were crafted and created to be will begin to outshine our fear. That we will find ways to stand up for what we believe in with respect and dignity. I have hope that we will come out on the other side of this pandemic and these wildfires and we will embrace the communal anew. These are the hopes to which I cling. And they are big, big hopes. Still, these outsized, global outcomes are more than I can create. Yet, I can and must influence the portion of God’s earth that I occupy. The small corner of Creation I stand upon each day. I can and I must do so with love because to do so with hatred (which is just really fear walking around in public) is to sacrifice my own soul.

Beloveds, peace and hope to you this night. For this night, and for any night you need them, here are two prayers that are especially meaningful to me:

O Gracious Giver of the day,

bountiful has been my daily bread,

and in the heart of sorrows,

You have surrounded me with grace. Amen

(This prayer hangs over my dresser and has been a balm for my spirit throughout 2020, which began for me in a hard place.)

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.

(From the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer Order for Compline, or prayer at the close of the day.)

[i] National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255(TALK) Domestic Violence Hotline. 800-799-7233 (SAFE) Rape, Sexual Assault, Abuse, and Incest National Network 800-656-HOPE