On Friendship

September 4, 2020

Seattle, WA

Six years ago we said goodbye for now to a person filled with faith and love and doubt and beauty and desire and striving and compassion. All of us, if we live long enough and fully enough, will walk in those places where life is hard and complicated. My friend was no different. The love of her children and grandchildren buoyed and enlivened her. Her belief in the God who loved and created her sustained and challenged and comforted her. And like all of us, there were crossroads that puzzled her. But she was mostly very brave in them, trying on new things. And when the decisions were especially heavy she would turn within for soul care.

As I said at her funeral, she brought so much beauty into the world. She crafted and curated it in her surroundings and her relationships and in what she chose to do in life. In the face of hardships, she could somehow reach in and pull something beautiful into being.

I’ve been thinking today of what I might say to her if I had the chance. I think I would remind her of her inherent belovedness. I would thank her for every note and card and letter she wrote, which pop up still to surprise and greet me. I would ask her if she would make some mac and cheese for our lunch and offer to bring dessert and tell her that I hope she could eat and enjoy every morsel with no thought other than its sheer deliciousness.

Mostly, though, I would tell her that we all are better because we had her in our lives. That in her, the light of all that is good and true reflected back to the rest of us.

Of course, I can’t tell her. But I can tell you. So hear this, beloved of the Creator, formed in the very image of all that is Holy and Beautiful….we are better because of your presence. Keep shining your light. You are so loved.