Monday Morning Musing: A Heart Re-Set

Last week I took what basically amounted to a little over 24 hours just for myself.  When I type that out in a sentence, it even looks woefully insufficient. 

But hear me out.

I could absolutely have filled those 28 hours with holing up in some cozy spot and reading or writing or taking a walk.  I could have gone to my favorite city spots and done city things. I could have done a spa day.  But what I did was re-set both my heart and mind.  I chose four friends with whom to spend that time.  People I needed and wanted to be with and talk to and ask questions of and hear from. Each separately. People I am so deeply lucky to call friends.  They range in age from a decade younger than me to three decades older.  Crazy. 

Crazy that I have the great good fortune of being in their orbits.  These are change makers.  These are justice seekers.  These are at once gentle and fierce souls.  We laughed and cried and talked about what really matters in life.  There was very little small talk and absolutely no platitudes and zero conversations about the weather.  What there was were hard questions about what it means to live well.  Shared discernment about how much of ourselves we are willing to sacrifice for the expectations of institutions or other people.  There were shared joys and shared sorrows.  Both are such a privilege to hold.  And there was food and drink and gathering at table and sitting in the spring sunshine.  And there were long hugs and so much love shared and spoken.

With each greeting I was filled with joy and with each farewell, gratitude coursed through my veins. 

I’ve decided that I want to do this with as many of my friends as I can for as long as I am able.  And that will mean that I will have to be very intentional about making it happen.  The mechanics of just those 28 hours were akin to planning a trip abroad.

I also know that I have the privilege to have the means to make this happen.  I do not take that for granted.

My heart and mind needed that re-set.  I needed the deep conversation.  I needed to not have to fill a role in their lives as anything except friend and fellow traveler.  As Ram Dass said “we are all just walking each other home.”

Dear ones, I hope that you will take the time to ask what your heart and mind need and then, if at all possible, find a way to make it happen.  It’s the only way we are going to love ourselves enough that we can love our neighbors too.