Lengthening Light

February was such a short month, wasn’t it?  Just 28 days and another calendar page turned to greet March.  We are having a run of lovely weather - crisp and cold mornings, followed by sunny afternoons that make me forget to wear my coat home from work.  In Southern California, where my daughter lives, it’s been in the upper eighties.  It is the beginning of a turning toward spring. 

It also marks nine months without my Beloved.  Nine months.  How can that even be possible?  The spectre of the one year anniversary is no longer far off in the distance.  Our Jewish siblings call this the yahrzeit (year-time) and have such meaningful rituals to mark it.  

Some of you know that Bruce and I actually first met in the early eighties, when we were both working at the local ABC affiliate.  We became good friends and then we got married.  Well, twenty seven years later we got married.  

We both loved to tell this story, especially the part about how we found one another again.  His version included the phrase “google stalked”.  My version included the phrase “searched online”.  Either way, in August of 2005, a quick internet search on my part revealed his website and his phone numbers.  I wrote both his home and cell numbers down on a bright pink scrap of paper and carried them around for a couple of weeks.  What was my motivation in calling him, I asked myself.  What if his wife answered the phone?  What would I say?  

Because what my spirit remembered of my old friend was his deep kindness and compassion for others.  His adventurous nature.  His beautiful photographs.  That he loved theatre and race cars.   That he was handsome and fun.  

So I called him on August 26th.  He was in Dallas, in the middle of a shoot and they were on a break.  He didn’t recognize the 740 area code or the number, but his producer said “you should answer it; it might be work.”  This is the part of the story when we would say simultaneously: And it was!  

I did the silliest possible thing when he answered the phone.  I made him guess who was calling.  I mean, it had only been twenty five years or so.  And as he would say, there was only one right answer.  After just a few sentences he correctly identified the holder of the unknown number and we started a conversation that just ended 9 months ago.  Only I still talk to him and I can still hear him in return, so maybe it hasn’t ended at all.  

I love this part of our story.  It’s as though our love story, the origin story of Brulie, has this very long arc that made it so much more precious when we finally found our way to one another again. 

Bruce always loved it when light began to lengthen as spring approached.  He would turn toward it like a sunflower does (he also loved sunflowers and planted them in every sunny spot he could find).  I know he would be glad for these sunny days.  He would make his usual joke about how Seattleites could never find their sunglasses because they hadn’t needed them all winter.  

And then he would remind me not to forget my coat.  

This is a photo from the early 80's, at a work event for the ABC mini series "The Winds of War". We were dressed in period costumes.