Fifty Days of Gratitude: Days 35, 36, 37, and 38

Uff da! It's been a full few days and so I've not written in this space. There was a time when I would have felt some shame adjacent emotion around this, but that never served me well, so here we are.

Consider yourself forewarned: I'm going to write about my gratitude for the tremendous (I don't like that word anymore; a certain former president currently on trial for paying a porn star hush money has ruined it for me), incredible privilege it is to be the lucky momma of three amazing human beings. Consider it my pre-mother's day thoughts.

Truth is, not a day goes by that I don't think just this: that these are the most amazing people I know. (I include their beloveds and the grand girl and my Beloved in that group, too.) They are unique in personality and interest and gifts and skills. They share many physical traits and they are all whip smart.

But here's what I give deep thanks for:it took them less time than many to figure out that they don't need to live their lives according to anyone else's expectations, including mine. They don't need to live up to anyone else's projected standards or even their hopes or dreams. That is unhealty and dysfunctional and just prolonges the process of self discovery. So, they are uniquely and singularly the kindest, wisest, most thoughtful, most authentic people I know. They are funny and fun. They are tender and compassionate. They are bold and brave. And they are this way because they choose to live this way, not because of anyone else's expectations.

They are people of integrity.

Life has dealt them some very hard hands. There is nothing I can do to change that. I cannot take it away or bear it for them. Believe me, I have tried and wished and prayed that I could. And those wounds are a part of them and while I wish it were otherwise, they have grown their way through.

By the gift and grace of the maker of the universe, I get to call these three my children. Hearts of my heart. And for this greatest of gifts, I am grateful.