50 Days of Gratitude: Days 37 & 38

I joined the Ted Lasso bandwagon late in the game. We just started watching it a couple of months ago. We are caught up and, along with many others, we are anticipating the end of the series with a mixture of dread and gratitude. I’ve been reminded that story lines of why a positive attitude matters, even in world filled with Ruperts, are useful for more than good viewing.

In this week’s episode (Season 3, Episode 10) many of the characters (not Ted) finally face down the thing that is causing them adversity. They find within themselves exactly what they need. Some of them make amends with others. There is a sense of the winding down of the series.

Mostly, though, I was captivated by the scene where Rebecca is preparing to attend a meeting where she will be the only woman in a room full of men. She knows this; it’s part of the reason she’s going. For the rest of the women. Someone has to go first. As she gets ready to leave her home, she looks in the mirror and sees herself as a little girl. It’s a sweet, sweet image. And then, in preparation for the meeting, she, along with her younger self, makes herself big. She squats down and as she stand she draws her arms and hands into the air and breathes in “lion’s breath” and makes herself big enough for the task at hand. For the room filled with men who only see her for her physical appearance.

I have, on occasion, done this very thing, made myself big. Or I have assumed “Superwo/man’s pose” before a difficult meeting. Mostly because I was raised and taught and conditioned to make myself small. Seen, but not heard. Being heard meant I was being “dramatic”. It can be hard, then, to feel big enough for a room.

Tonight, I’m thankful for this scene in Ted Lasso, but more than that, I’m thankful for each time I’ve had the chance to be the first/only woman at a table. Because it means I wasn’t the last